2. Feminism to Feminine
There’s an incomparable sense of peace that washes over me when I decide to leave a job. Like… why does quitting feel better than starting? Out with the old, in with the “FREEDOM.” Anyone else? No? Just me? Okay.
Anyway… back to the point (which there might not be one… apologies.)
As detail-oriented as I am (borderline chronic OCD), my head has always lived in the clouds. My brain doesn’t stop imagining the best version of something until I either make it happen or receive it, wrapped in a bow, straight from the heavens. Shoutout to sweet baby Jesus.
In high school, I was a full-blown hopeless romantic. My dream? To be a wife to a caring, passionate man and a mom to three. Picture The Notebook with a sprinkle of Fifty Shades. Romance, chemistry, passion—and just enough obsession and jealousy to keep the fire going. As my boyfriend says, I love that emo/toxic love. And not toxic like, “I’m gonna show up at your location.” More like, “The thought of not being with you—I can’t breathe.” Is that too much to ask for? Like… you should be dead when I’m not around. We love Anakin for that. Is she crazy? I low key am.
But since life hasn’t fully unfolded that way (yet?), I had to pivot. (PIVOT!)
Now don’t get me wrong—becoming a strong, independent woman wasn’t a backup plan. It was empowering. In fact, in my 20s, the idea of being a wife and mom started to feel like the “settling” path. I was in my boss woman era. Apartment of my own. Working from home. Making good money. Owning my life. You could say I was… SLAYING. And yet, once I hit that milestone, I realized something: that whole “independent woman who needs no man” thing? Yeah… not the vibe. Rather, it was actually a super lonely place to be in. #depresso
I didn’t know what I really wanted until… I met my current bae. Who gently (not so gently 😜) put me in my place. And I was like… wait. I like this?? Plot twist.
Don’t get me wrong—we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs (shoutout again to God’s grace), but something shifted. I ended up in a place where I felt 100% safe (trigger warning) submitting to him. That word used to make me cringe. But now? It kinda makes me feel… at peace. Taken care of. Protected. I feel like someone is hyping me up in my head right now. Like: YASS. GET YO MANS. Guys, I’m telling you—I’m crazy, but in a cute way… so you’ll never suspect it.
So here comes my hot take: I 99% believe most women want a man who knows how to gently, respectfully, and lovingly put them in their place. Yeah, I said it. And if someone says they don’t… maybe they just haven’t experienced it the right way yet. (I know. I KNOW. Bear with me. A chill pill must be taken.)
The key is this: a man who respects himself and also respects you. One who can meet your strength without making it a competition. One who calms you down without making you feel small. It’s giving balance. It’s giving peace. It’s giving “I got you, babe.” Anyone else dying, or is it just me? Because I’m DEAD. Wait—but can we add man of God on top of that? That just rose me back from the dead. Might not have been three days, but it was three seconds. Can I get an amen?! As my pastor Jentezen Franklin would say, I’m preaching more than you’re letting on!
Here’s the ultimate example: Rip Wheeler and Beth Dutton from Yellowstone. If you know… you know. She’s unhinged in the most iconic way, and he’s just… solid. Loyal. Steady. He doesn’t try to fix her or shrink her, but he’s also not afraid to check her when she needs it. And somehow, that’s exactly what keeps her crazy from going off the rails (for the most part). Cause let’s be honest—sometimes the beast deserves to be unleashed.
So, when I finally felt that kind of energy in my relationship, I fully became the “Love my man. Thank you to my man.” type of woman. And if you’ve never seen Yellowstone, do yourself a favor and binge a Rip + Beth compilation. TRUST. It will change your life.
Anyway… remember when I started this post talking about jobs? Yeah. Same. It’s giving ADHD brain. Or maybe just me being thirty and already losing it. Honestly, the sanity’s been gone, so let’s just blame the ADHD.
So. Tune in next time as we take a deep dive into my current career existential crisis: Do I stay a teacher… or move on to… TBD, because there’s absolutely no plan.
Love this for me!!!
